Before & After Personal Statement Examples

 Below are real life examples of clients I have worked with and the before and after products of their personal statements.  The name of the individual is abbreviated in quotations for privacy, but I wanted to indicate readers were in fact reading the matching before and after products. 

The transformation does not occur over one edit. I worked with these individuals back and forth to continually develop ideas and help make their essay reflect their unique strengths and experiences. 

All of the essays displayed were completed in a collaborative, in depth effort with constant communication and analysis.

Before Essay of “SL”:

It was just another night of a sixteen-hour graveyard shift at Albany Medical Center, and it was time to make rounds and complete vital signs for all my Q4 patients. Downstairs in the secure unit working with patients who happened to be. inmate patients, and The night had been a rare quiet one. Waking up patients to do their vital signs at 3 A.M. is always a part of the night that I dread for the sole reason that no one likes being woken up in the middle of the night, but it is an essential part of my duties. As I began making my rounds, I went into room twelve to round on the patient and do his vitals. He asked me to come back in thirty minutes. However, I had worked with this patient before and I knew he suffered from hypotensive congestive heart failure. so I continued to persuade him to let allow me quickly complete his vitals so he could go back to sleep. What began as a routine activity for me quickly escalated into a heated vent from my patient, including many profanities; and ended with the correctional officer coming into the room to speak to the patient while I was standing in the back tearing up and trying my best to be a wallflower. The last thing the patient said as I was leaving the room is “Bring me some water will ya.” And even though my patient’s rudeness towards me had a lasting effect on me, all I wanted to do was help him as much as I could.

Working in the secure unit as well as the infectious diseases and medical/surgical unit as a patient care associate has taught me how to communicate and work with patients who have had a complex background. There have been countless instances when patients have been rude or inconsiderate, but working as a PCA has helped me look past these situations and consider the patient’s condition, and help them in anyway that I can. Working in healthcare has taught me how important it is to look past cultural and background barriers in order to work to understand the patient’s needs and conditions.

The first patient I had as PCA was an elderly Burmese woman who did not understand a single word of English and suffered from end-stage cirrhosis. When I first got report about her, I knew that communicating with her would be one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do, but as soon as I saw her, it was as if we had an instant understanding. The look of helplessness in her eyes was one that hit me in my core and continued to resonate with me as I took care of her. It was a universal feeling that I had experienced before and I wanted to do everything I could to lessen it for her. Despite the language barrier between us, I knew I had to try to look past it to try to understand her needs and help her in any way that I could. However, as a PCA my scope of practice was very limited and there was not much I could do to help her. I wanted to do more, I wanted to help diagnose and treat her in order to try everything possible to improve her condition.

Throughout my years exploring the healthcare industry from high school up until now, I have been exposed to various providers from physicians to nurse practitioners to physician assistants, and after being able to see firsthand the day-to-day responsibilities that each provider holds, there is no doubt in my mind that the PA profession is what I want to pursue. After shadowing PAs who have worked in various specialties from cardiothoracic surgery and neurosurgery to urgent care and medical cardiology, I have been able to see the flexibility to move laterally across specialties within the profession and become a more well-rounded provider. Furthermore, I was able to witness how working as a PA would allow me to work in a supportive teamwork dynamic alongside physicians and nurses in order to provide the best possible patient care through a collaboration of ideas and experiences in order to accurately diagnose and treat the patient. In addition to this, I have been able to witness the significantly greater time that PAs are able to spend with their patients compared to the physicians due to the large amount of administrative responsibilities that physicians hold. This valuable time with my patients is an aspect of healthcare that is extremely important to me, and will help me in being a better provider.

Working as a PCA is by no means an easy task; it is more than taking vital signs and blood sugars and helping patients to the commode or bedpan, it is a way in which I have helped patients cope with their conditions on a day-to-day basis. Being a volunteer EMT-B and PCA have forced me to witness harsh realities and share the patients’ worst days with them. But my thirst to treat and diagnose patients has not been satiated. In fact, working in the healthcare field has solidified my desired to become the best possible PA that I can be. With every single room that I enter, all of the patient’s past goes away and all I want to do is help that patient and do everything I can to improve their condition. As a PA I will be able to help the inmate who did not want to be woken up for his vitals as well as the Burmese patient who I was unable to verbally communicate with. Becoming a physician assistant is one step closer to improving my patients’ conditions so that their rudeness can be transformed into openness, and their helplessness can be transformed into hope.

 

After Essay of “SL”: 

It was another sixteen-hour graveyard shift at Albany Medical Center, and it was time to complete vital signs for my Q4 patients. Although I was exhausted, I could not help but have a grin on my face as I walked into room nine. Mrs. T was one of the most inspiring patients I have had the pleasure of working with due to her unceasing optimism. However, upon entering her room I was not greeted with her usual enthusiasm. She appeared drained of energy and was minimally responsive. As I checked her vital signs, I noticed she was tachypneic and her oxygen saturation was rapidly declining. I wanted to do anything I could to help her, but as a patient care associate (PCA) my scope of practice was limited. Due to the severity of this incident a rapid response team consisting of nurses, a respiratory therapist (RT), and a physician assistant (PA), was called in to further assess Mrs. T. I was in awe as I saw how the PA began to work collaboratively with the team not only to improve Mrs. T’s condition by using a BiPAP; but, also handling her with such personalized care and compassion in a highly stressful situation. I had known for some time through my research and shadowing experiences that I wanted to pursue my career as a PA, but witnessing the care given to Mrs. T by the PA on the rapid response team further ignited my passion to become a PA who can provide well-rounded medical and emotional support to help future patients like Mrs. T.

My time as a PCA and volunteer EMT-B has done more than expose me to the culture of medicine; it has provided me with an avenue for emotional and empathic development. Being a PCA is by no means an easy task. It is more than taking vital signs or blood sugars, and helping patients to the commode or bedpan. I have become someone who helps patients manage their conditions on a daily basis, cope with bad news that hospital stays may bring, and fill loneliness for patients whose families cannot be at bedside. Additionally, I have also experienced the tough lessons presented by the actuality of working in medicine. Presently, I have both a realistic expectation of the harsh reality of medicine and the optimism to make a positive impact in my patients’ lives. I find joy in improving the lives of the patients I encounter, but as a PCA I currently have limitations within the medical team. As a PA I will be able to ensure the health and wellbeing of my patients on a more comprehensive level. It will allow me to diagnose illnesses, interpret tests, and provide treatments. I look forward to the honor of enhancing the lives, health, and wellness of my future patients.

My journey towards applying to PA school has involved many individuals asking me, “Are you sure you want to be a PA?” My answer is consistently the same: a confident “Yes.” I have shadowed and interacted with a multitude of medical professionals including PAs, physicians, and nurse practitioners. Witnessing firsthand the day-to-day responsibilities across multiple specialties, from cardiothoracic surgery to primary care clinics, there is no doubt in my mind that the PA path is the one I want to pursue. The supportive teamwork dynamic and the ability to move laterally across specialties solidify my desire to belong within the PA profession. The medical professional I desire to become is someone who is able to practice medicine in a team-based model with a strong focus on personalized patient care.

My continued path to becoming a PA will not be an easy task; in fact, it will be filled with challenges including demanding courses, complex hands-on medical training, and the pressure of successfully passing the PANCE. I believe that I am not only capable of surviving such demanding tasks, but thriving under these pressures in order to become a PA. My undergraduate career, extracurricular activities, and healthcare experiences have presented ample opportunity for challenge. These experiences have fostered my goal-oriented behavior, hard work, dedication, and time-management skills that I will bring forth to succeed as a PA student, pass the PANCE, and ultimately become a diligent and skilled PA.

My passion to help and serve others has not been satiated; in fact it has grown since I first learned of the PA profession. When I recently went to visit Mrs. T, I was able to witness from her familiar enthusiastic expression how much her condition had improved. The glow on her face would not have been possible without the collaborative teamwork of the PA and rapid response team. As a practicing PA I will have the skills and knowledge to help patients such as Mrs. T on a more comprehensive level. Becoming a physician assistant will allow me to improve my patients’ overall wellbeing, with confidence that their fear can be transformed into openness and their helplessness can be transformed into hope.

What we improved:

  • This particular client was trying to focus a lot on technical and medical terms and describe treatments.  
  • There were multiple patient contact stories which made the statement choppy. We narrowed it down with a positive focus and allowed that to set the theme of the statement
  • Got rid of unnecessary “filler” words
  • Displayed the applicant as a well rounded individual.  Intelligent, compassionate and focused.  Also providing examples and past behaviors to support these traits. 
  • Acknowledged the shortcomings of her current position and how she was limited in her role in a medical setting

Before Essay of “SS”:

I could feel my heart pounding against my chest as the small drop of blood left my mother’s skin and onto her diabetes test strip. “You feel nervous? It okay. You can poke me with needle. You help me test my blood sugar a lot,” my mom says in her broken English smiling while inserting the strip into her diabetes monitor. I was only six years old and performing my first glucose test. My mother had grown embarrassed to visit our family practitioner due to when a receptionist became impatient impatience with surrounding her limited English and inability to understand consultation fees and examination processes. Without the Lacking proper guidance, financial means, and limitations to obtain healthcare, I became my mother’s medical assistant. Through the years I continued to pursue my knowledge of health care and the disparities of underserved communities. Acquiring this knowledge/experiences led me to uncover my passion to become a Physician Assistant. Knowing the difference impact I made for my mother compelled me to dig deeper into healthcare where I would learn more about disease and health disparities of underserved communities, as well as uncover the physician assistant profession.

Driven by the health disparities my family faced, I gravitated towards volunteering on a medical missions trip to Ensenada, Mexico. aimed at promoting accessibility to medicine in impoverished countries. stressed the difficulties that arises when there exists a language barrier between patient and medical professional Many natives walked away, too ashamed about their broken English to ask for help.  Recognizing a change was imperative, I collaborated with the members of my team, and together we executed a plan to recruit four translators in order to effectively establish that to would provide the necessary resources needed communication and a relationship with our patientsDuring my stay I teamed up with physician assistant Salina, as a medical mission translations ambassador, to educate and train hygiene practices to villagers. My ability to speak Khmer allowed me to effectively convey pertinent health information to mothers and their children. Seeing faces glow with smiles and nods of understanding, I realized how I could connect with people and be a voice for my community in Long Beach where a vast majority of Cambodian Immigrants are in desperate need for a provider to answer their medical needs.

After my experience in Cambodia, I earned a position as a medical assistant at Salina’s weight loss clinic that offered affordable healthcare to low-income communities in San Diego. I was responsible for patient intakes, performing vitals and administering vitamin B-12 injections. Collaborating with Dr. Kim and Salina, I witnessed the emergence of quality care as we managed the stress of a fast-paced office through poise, preparation, and communication. Praises from my peers for my technical skills and gentle nature for others contributed to my confidence to perform under demanding positions. Patients who once winced after each step and gasped for air after each breath, shared their stories of finishing marathons and playing outside with their children. There was an exhilaration and fulfillment knowing that I had part in an individual’s weight achievements.

Inspired to parallel a PA’s ability to serve patients in different fields of medicine, I expanded my clinical knowledge at Apex, a rehabilitation facility that specializes in addiction. Performing opiate and alcohol withdrawal assessments for patients in detox required me to pay keen attention to body language that would signify an anxiety attack, vomiting, or violence. These unexpected scenarios have enhanced my critical thinking abilities to make decisive clinical decisions. I have also seen patients immersed in varieties of therapies, from yoga to prescription medicine, which have relaxed and reduced mental stress on the individual. This integrative approach to care has shaped the ideals I envision myself practicing when I become a PA.

Outside of work, and volunteering, I am also a tailor for my mother’s dry-cleaning company where my technical skills in hand stitching and attention to small details will translate exceptionally well in the practice of suturing and surgery. I have also retaken multiple pre-requisite courses while congruently supplementing my medical knowledge with medical terminology, EMT and pathophysiology. With a stronger background in science, I have prepared myself for the rigors of PA school; where I will further understand how to apply my education to the clinical executions in medicine.

My commitment towards becoming a PA stems from my desire to eliminate health disparities and make healthcare available to a greater number of underserved communities. The challenges and frustrations I have faced in medicine have rewarded me with a motivation to provide a sensitive, team centered approach that will integrate the needs of patients and increase their quality of care. That little drop of blood on a test strip no longer makes nervous. I now see it as a tool to help me empower others across the cultural divide. I am ready to begin my training as a PA.

After Essay “SS”:

I could feel my heart pounding against my chest as a small drop of blood left my Mother’s skin and onto her diabetes test strip. “You feel nervous?” my mom says in her broken English. I was six years old performing my first glucose test. My Mother had grown embarrassed to visit our family practitioner due to impatience surrounding her limited English and inability to understand consultation fees and examination processes. Lacking proper guidance, financial means, and limitations to obtain healthcare, I became my Mother’s medical assistant. Through the years I continued to acquire knowledge of health care and the disparities of underserved communities. My journey has led me to uncover my passion to become a Physician Assistant.

As a translations ambassador during a medical mission to Cambodia, I was paired with a Physician Assistant named Salina. Her ability to communicate and connect with the villagers was incredible. I watched, enamored, as she educated patients regarding hygiene practices, healthy diets and proper use of antibiotics. Her gentle approach and patience with each family member resonated with my calling to aid those in need. At that moment, I saw a reflection of what I wanted to become. I was certain, a career as a Physician Assistant best aligned with the health care profession I wanted to pursue.

Upon shadowing Salina at an urgent-care clinic in San Diego, I was fascinated by her medical intuition. I envisioned my future as she performed histories and physical exams, ordered and interpreted diagnostic testing and provided treatment to patients. One specific patient stood out to me the most. During Mr. Coleman’s annual appointment, Salina immediately recognized a lesion around his waist to be herpes zoster and proceeded to provide treatment and patient education. He sighed with relief thanking Salina for her time and expertise. The medical proficiency she was able to demonstrate is exactly the intellect I wish to obtain in order to positively impact lives such as Mr. Coleman’s in my future career as a Physician Assistant.

In addition to shadowing PAs and medical mission trips, many other experiences have contributed to developing myself as an excellent applicant. As a medical assistant at a weight–loss clinic, my tasks were to perform and record vital signs, as well as chart histories and assist with b-12 injections. What I enjoyed most about this position was observing the relationships built amongst my patients as well as the level of comfort I brought during dreadful weigh measurements and blood pressure readings. Despite increased responsibility in my role as an MA, it was impossible for me to ignore its limitations. Unable to provide medical treatment and advice, it became increasingly clear that earning acceptance into Physician Assistant School was imperative.

My position as a medical assistant at Apex’s comprehensive drug rehabilitation facility revealed the complexities of mental illness and co-existing medical conditions. The patients at Apex enhanced my critical thinking abilities and allowed me to participate in a team-based approach ensuring excellent medical treatment and mental health therapy. The opportunity to work with PAs in a team based setting further solidified my desire to understand the science and clinical applications to be gained as a Physician Assistant student.

Along with working two medical assistant positions, I hold commitments coaching for a youth basketball and teaching hip-hop dance to children at The Boys and Girls Club, all while continuing to demonstrate my commitment to academic excellence and pursuing my dream to become a PA. My rigorous course load, health care experience and commitments to my community demonstrate that I am goal-oriented, determined, well-rounded and have the ability to effectively manage my time. That little drop of blood on a test strip no longer makes nervous. I am excited for the potential to obtain the education necessary to become a successful Physician Assistant and serve my community while representing your institution with the highest medical standards.

What We Improved:

  • Increased focus on personal strengths
  • Concise statements
  • Tying personal stories in to how they pertain this individual being a strong candidate
  • Broadening experiences to show him as a well rounded candidate
  • Focus on how prior experience/behavior will predict how he will perform as a student and professional

 Before Essay “JC”

Knock knock, I’m sorry to wake you, just have to get some blood from you. Is it okay if I turn on the lights? No response. Ms. Rita? No Response. I turned on the lights hoping to avoid having to yell or startle her by touching her. Still nothing. The next sequence of events was all too real. Just two days post-op of a double mastectomy, Ms. Rita, whose real name will be kept anonymous due to HIPPA regulations, had coded. I had just taken her blood sugar less than 30 minutes prior to this event as she was on an insulin drip and she was alive and laughing with me about my name is Jake, “like from the state farm commercial”, she said and now she might be dead. I had only been working for a few weeks on the floor and had been involved in a few rapid responses due to pulmonary distress or altered mental status but nothing prepared me for this. I yelled into the hall for help and for someone to get the crash cart. Within minutes the room was filled with people from all different areas of practice including a few residents, a CRNA, multiple respiratory therapists, ECG technicians, the house supervisor, and a hospitalist nurse practitioner who was in charge of her case the nurses from our floor. Everyone was yelling out different things and from the outside it looked like complete chaos as they were struggling to intubate her at the bedside but it was incredible to watch this health care team work together in each of their own ways to save this woman’s life. I wanted to help in any way that I could but my role as a Patient Care Technician kept me very limited.

I thought back to my mother, her two sisters, and their mom who is slightly younger than Ms. Rita, all who had this same surgery due to a microscopic mutation to the BRCA-2 gene. My mother’s double mastectomy fell right in the middle of a 13-surgery series over the course of my first two and a half years in college. I drove home multiple times a week and worked in between classes as I tried to help her. Ultimately it was all too much, I was spread too thin and my grades fell as a result. I have witnessed the need for teamwork and the necessity for a support system not just to finish college strongly but also to get out of the hospital and to work to keep someone alive. After much research, having the privilege of shadowing multiple PA’s in a few different specialties and working as a tech I have confirmed my passion for healthcare and hopefully my role as a PA as a part of the healthcare team.

After Essay “JC”:

 Knock knock, sorry to wake you, I need to draw blood from you for lab work. Is it okay if I turn on the lights? No response. Ms. Palmer? No Response. The next sequence of events was all too real. Two days post-op from a double mastectomy, Ms. Palmer, whose real name will be kept anonymous due to HIPPA regulations, had coded. I yelled into the hall for help and for someone to get the crash cart. The room filled with professionals from all areas of practice. My eyes focused on Adam, the Physician Assistant on her case. After being briefed by the nurse, he began systematically collaborating with various professionals to implement ACLS protocol. In the midst of this delicate moment I caught a glimpse of what I desired to become.

I observed from a distance as Adam updated the family, as Ms. Palmer had been moved to the ICU. The family was more than a case to him; he had clearly built a rapport with them. I recognized the compassion and wisdom Adam portrayed that night, and how it represented the difference I want to make in the lives of my future patients. Watching Adam handle Ms. Palmer’s code and his interaction with her family further confirmed my passion for pursuing a career as a Physician Assistant.

The reality of Ms. Palmer’s struggle hit incredibly close to home. My mother’s double mastectomy occurred in the middle of a thirteen surgery series during my first two and a half years in college. Making multiple ninety-mile trips home per week to help mitigate my family’s struggle, ultimately took its toll, and my grades fell as a result. I had no control over my Mother’s illness or our families struggle; but, I had the ability to control my reactions. I was determined not to allow several bumps in the road to defeat me. I pressed on towards my goal finding help along the way both personally and professionally. Personally, the support of my family and collaboration with classmates allowed me to improve my GPA while taking increasingly rigorous courses during my last two years of college. Professionally, learning to work as a part of a medical team to ensure the highest quality of patient care.

Eager to pursue a career as a PA based on my experiences, I assertively sought out opportunities to shadow Physician Assistants. This allowed me to observe and further understand the collaborative nature of the PA-Physician relationship, the fluidity of a PA’s scope of practice and how the comprehensive training under the medical model provides a career of versatility. Spending time in Guatemala on medical mission trips afforded me the opportunity to witness lives being changed by the medical team. I remember one of the PA’s demonstrating extra care and empathy with a nine-year old boy, who happened to be the head of his household. She provided counseling regarding health and hygiene, proper use of antibiotics and how to prevent deadly disease. The gesture, which was clearly a small and routine in her mind, was making a large impact on the lives of this family. I look forward to continuing my path towards a career that will allow me to make such meaningful contributions to the lives of others.

My road to success has not entailed straight and narrow travels. Enduring obstacles and tragedy has taught me determination, passion and responsibility. My leadership role as a Resident Assistant in college provided lessons on active listening, communication and collaboration. Through various positions I have acquired many different skills, and also had the opportunity to gain an intimate perspective on the role of PA’s with in the health care team. Most importantly, each position and experience has enhanced my ability to interact with and care for others. As a PA student I plan on applying what I have learned from these experiences to acquiring the medical education necessary to provide the highest standard of patient care within a team based medical model as a practicing professional. My critical thinking skills, demonstrated success of my undergraduate education and GRE scores provide positive prognostic indicators of my potential to successfully pass the PANCE on my first attempt. Through my education, time shadowing, leadership roles, mission trips and interacting with patients I have built a solid well-rounded foundation for success in PA school and as a practicing professional.

 What We Improved:

  • Concise statements.  This particular individual writes very “conversationally”–which I tend to do as well so I recognized it quick and started cutting out “fillers”
  • Made his personal stories more personal by adding names of the professionals and family members.  Really trying to create a picture–in a concise manner of course!
  • JC wanted to highlight the “low’s” of his application and we did that by showing strength in how he bounced back and at the same time highlighted personal qualities important to his application

Before Essay of JH:

Working as a certified nursing assistant (CNA) at Beaumont Hospital offered a multitude of learning experiences, both educational and empathetic development. Most days in ICU are quite tenuous with critical patients; however, Macie was a patient I will remember for sometime. I had not only taken care of Macie; but, had also built a rapport with her Mother. While just starting my shift I walked in to find Macie having difficulty breathing — her oxygen saturation was low. Although, I lacked advanced medical education at this point, I knew enough to notify the nurse immediately. Before I could process everything occurring, the healthcare team sprang into action. The physician staff came in the room and the patient needed to be intubated. While my current position is fulfilling, it limits my ability to influence and contribute to the patient’s plan of care. I would like to be a clinician that has the autonomy to treat the patient, as well as having time to make a connection with the patient and their family. Days prior to this event that took place with Macie, I was able to make an impact on the patients Mother. We talked about health and fitness, specifically, I discussed with her the benefits of juicing and probiotics. I was able to make an impact on her and I enjoyed providing any information I could. As a PA (physician assistant), I will be able to diagnose and treat patients while forming relationships with them. Additionally, being a PA will require me to be a leader, while also serving under a leader. During this experience with Macie, I had the opportunity to initially take part in being a leader, as I assessed the situation, transitioning to serving under a leader once the physician came to the room. I believe this role suits well with my personality; I like having autonomy, yet being able to ask a physician questions if needed.

As a CNA I have experienced the health care perspective; in April of 2016 the roles became reversed and I unfortunately found myself as a patient in the health care system. I tore the labrum in my left hip and underwent surgery due to playing hockey. My empathy of what patients go through suddenly came to light in a unique way. I remember being at my weakest and in a vulnerable state at the time of surgery. I went from being active and independent to sedentary and dependent. Now, I am well on my way to making a complete recovery and going back to the hobbies I once enjoyed. However, I cannot imagine those patients who do not recover and what their families must go through. As a PA, this incident will allow me to be more aware of what my patients go through on a daily basis. I have greater empathy for my patients and strive to help them through each diagnosis, regardless of prognosis. This incident has not only increased my interpersonal skills, but also made myself aware that I want a great work-life balance. I want to be able to improve my well-being first as a PA, so that I can improve the lives of my patients when I am at my strongest.

In addition to my health care, educational and personal experience I have also been fortunate enough to volunteer for various organizations. Upon my undergraduate degree, I was able to take up a volunteer opportunity serving an underserved population at Gleaners Community Food Bank. Having this background of serving for the community has prepared me to be a more compassionate student — I am drawn to providing healthcare to patients regardless of their status. I want to take part in serving this community and all cultures. The PA profession is bridging the gap for needs of providers in rural areas, and being a PA allows me to take part in this opportunity.

Furthermore, my decision to pursue being a PA over other healthcare professions largely came down to the lateral movement among specialties. PA school allows me to graduate as a generalist, allowing me to switch between specialties without an added residency or fellowship. Not only does the diagnostic nature and creating care plans greatly appeal to me, but as a PA, I am able to interact with patients and their families. While my scope of practice is limited as an aide, I have developed a level of comfort to work on a care team. Now, I look forward to being a PA and doing what I love — providing diagnostic care as part of a team.

After Essay of JH:

My journey applying to physician assistant (PA) school has offered a wide variety of health care, personal and educational experiences and lessons. Working as a certified nursing assistant (CNA) at Beaumont Hospital was one of those learning experiences, offering both educational and empathetic development. Most days in ICU are quite tenuous with critical patients; however, there are some patients that make a lasting imprint in our memories. Macie was one of those patients. I had not only taken care of her, but had also built a rapport with her and her family. We would have discussions about nutrition and fitness and she appreciated the time I spent talking with her. One day, while just starting my shift I walked in to find Macie having difficulty breathing with low oxygen saturation. Although I lacked advanced medical education at this point, I knew enough to notify the nurse immediately. Her condition worsened and she proceeded to be intubated. After my shift ended, the following week I went along to follow up, but could not find any information. This day with Macie and the relationships I formed with her and her family is one example of my motivations to pursue further education and pursue a career as a physician assistant.

While my current position is fulfilling, I lack the education necessary to contribute to the patient’s plan of care. As a PA, I will develop the ability to make diagnoses and craft treatment plans for patients. My decision to pursue becoming a physician assistant as opposed to other healthcare professions largely came down to the lateral movement among specialties. Attending PA school will allow me to graduate as a generalist, with the ability to switch between specialties without added residency or fellowship. Further, the provider I desire to become will encompass the autonomy to treat patients, as well as make connections with the patient and their family. I look forward to the opportunity to practicing medicine to the full extent of my license while maintaining appropriate guidance and collaboration with my supervising physician.

As a CNA I have had the opportunity to learn the medical and professional side of health care. In April of 2016, I found myself a patient in the health care system having suffered a torn labrum of my left hip. My empathy of what patients go through suddenly came to light in a unique way. I remember being at my weakest and in a vulnerable state at the time of surgery. I went from being active and independent to sedentary and dependent. Presently, I am well on my way to making a complete recovery and going back to the hobbies I once enjoyed. However, I cannot imagine those patients who do not recover and what their families must go through. As a PA, this incident will allow me to be more aware of what my patients encounter on a daily basis. I have developed great empathy for my patients and will strive to improve their condition on the most comprehensive level possible.

In addition to my health care, educational and personal experience, I am also drawn to the profession because I am passionate about providing healthcare to patients regardless of their status. The PA profession is bridging the gap for needs of providers in rural areas, and being a PA will allow me to take part in this opportunity. Upon completing my undergraduate degree, I sought out to serve populations in need at Gleaners Community Food Bank. Experiencing a firsthand perspective of how thankful and in need people are has motivated me to pursue employment within an underserved community upon graduation from PA school.

In order to become the provider I want to be has required compiling all of the necessary requirements to have a complete application. The process of applying to physician assistant school has fostered many qualities that will prove useful as a PA student. I have become someone who is goal oriented, determined and self motivated. As I crossed items off of my list of requirements I became increasingly confident that I had become someone who would succeed no matter what the cost. I have sacrificed a great deal to arrive at this point and I will continue to persist through PA school with the same zeal, energy and determination. I will stop nowhere short of doing everything possible to become an intelligent and compassionate provider.

Although pursuing a career as a PA exemplifies that I am moving forward, I will never forget where I have been and lives I have impacted. As I take steps forward, I will remember Macie and her family and the difference I was able to make in their lives. I have progressed to become someone who is altruistic, adaptable and dependable. As a physician assistant I will become a practitioner who attends to the patient as a person and individual. I look forward to pursuing my education to become a competent and skilled provider, and upon graduation represent your institution with the highest level of patient care and professionalism.

What we improved:

  • Softer transitions between paragraphs and topics.  Connecting the previous thought into the next thought.
  • Addition of personal characteristics that make him a competitive applicant 
  • A comprehensive conclusion that not only ties together the introduction, but the entirety of the statement. 
  • Making parallels between experiences and how this makes him a great candidate for PA school and to be a successful PA